the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
