Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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