Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize