I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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