oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
