Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You dont lie about slip and slides
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
