I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need water and some morals
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
