I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
cat food counts as protein by the way
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
wow bdsm is so cute
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