The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
