I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
