i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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