she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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