let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
