This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize