I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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