He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
