I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
