oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
