Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
