.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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