some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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