every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
