So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
