Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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