can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
