Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
