even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So vagazzling was a success
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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