i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize