nutella sex= disaster
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
