believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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