im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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