just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
