A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
