yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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