It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So squirting runs in the family.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
