cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
