I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
