The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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