If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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