god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
