i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
