Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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