All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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