ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am one with the molecules
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
