Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I forget how to act sober
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