Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You dont lie about slip and slides
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
