so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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