I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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