I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
