How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
