im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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