Already got asked if we're dating
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
