South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
