He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
