yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
