I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize