i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
