sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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