no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
