LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
